There's that moment when you're rejected,
And all you can think is, "Aw."
And you walk away, numb for a minute.
You think for a little, laughing to yourself,
And before you know it, you're tearing up.

You hold in the real tears for just long enough to reach a private place,
Where you feel as though your heart is going to fall out.
And you panic a little,
Because for a minute,
You can't take in a breath,
For all the sobs trying to escape.

You cry and cry, until the skin around your eyes is raw,
With all the rubbing away of tears with the backs of hands.

All the thoughts you think aren't of stupid him,
But of inadequate you.
You cruelly fuel your own sadness with ideas about how you saw it coming,
And, "How could you have thought
(for even a second!)
That it would work the way you wanted it to?"

You begin to calm down,
But only because you've started to forget
Why you were crying in the first place,
Having wandered down some other road of thought in your mind.
You notice.

And a new wave of tears comes crashing down.
You repeat this cycle until you fall asleep unknowingly.

You don't know what time you fell asleep,
But you wake up feeling crappy.
When you blink,
It's like ten-pound weights are dangling from your lower eyelids.

You think to yourself, I'll just get through today,
And you do!
And you get through the next day, too.

You see him the day after that.
You treat him coolly for the most part,
But then he makes you laugh,
And you forgive him.

And everything's alright for a bit--
Until you remember why exactly things were a little weird between you today,
And it all starts up again.

At least...that's how it was for me.